As you are creating the cluster in server 1 then server would not have the info for the same. That is why, you need to add the cluster info in the server.xml of the other instance(server2) as explained above
Now add the cluster tag information in the server.xml (between </host> and </engine>) of the remote instance using the help document of ColdFusion 10 mentioned below
http://help.adobe.com/en_US/ColdFusion/10.0/Admin/WSc3ff6d0ea778594611 72e0811cbf363c31-7ffa.html
Yes, both the instances have same settings. Also, if you want the load balancer that if 1 server fails then the request with same session goes to server 2, then the same will happen for cf admin.
Thanks
VJ 